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Category archive for: Flyinglady Training

Disability Etiquette equals good manners & common sense

Posted in Accessibility, Cerebral Palsy, Customer Service, Disability Aids, Disability Awareness, Disabled Access, Equality & Diversity, Fighting for Change, Flyinglady Training, Media, and Personal

My latest book, “A disability Etiquette Guide” is something I’ve been wanting to write for a while now and last week, I was reminded why it’s so important for me to write it.

I was on my way to Nottingham, to the Charity CP Sport, of which I am a proud trustee. I asked for the ramp to be put down  as I use an electric wheelchair. It’s a popular train but I was absolutely astounded by my fellow passengers, who proceeded to rush on to the train whilst the customer service guy was attempting to put the ramp into position for me.

They all rushed past him and me, desperate to claim a seat and a place for their luggage. Never mind thinking about me and how it might be easier for me to get into the wheelchair spot when the carriage is relatively clear of passengers and luggage.  Never mind simple manners and common sense.

One passenger even walked up the ramp in front of me! Unbelievable!

And that’s the essence of my book: Good manners and applying common sense can go a long way in improving the lives of those with disabilities.

Please offer me a seat – improving travel for disabled people?

Posted in Accessibility, Customer Service, Disability Awareness, Disabled Access, Disabled Parent, Equality & Diversity, Flyinglady Training, Media, Personal, and Public Transport

 

Whilst browsing through my twitter account yesterday, I became aware of a new scheme which Transport for London are trialling, which encourages passengers to give up their seat for someone who needs it more, particularly disabled passengers.  Participating passengers will have a card and wear a badge, saying “Please offer me a seat.”

As a disabled wheelchair user who regularly uses public transport, albeit not in London much, I have very mixed feelings about this.  Although I am fortunate enough to at least always have my own seat, (thankfully!)  I am often left very frustrated by my fellow passengers attitudes, who fail to consider my needs by pushing on to trains or buses in front of me and using the designated wheelchair space as a dumping ground for their luggage. (Rather than taking the time to put it in the designated space for luggage)  It is much easier to manoeuvre my wheelchair before everyone else gets on but few people ever consider this.

So on the one hand, I think Transport for London should be generously applauded for taking the initiative to improve things for disabled people; they have identified this as a significant problem and are taking proactive steps to improve the experience for disabled passengers, particularly those who may not feel confident in speaking up to tell people what they need.

But on the other hand, I feel sad and frustrated that it’s considered that such schemes are needed. If people were more considerate and thoughtful, we would all have a much more positive experience of public transport, including disabled people.  If we all moved as far as possible, leaving the front seats available for those who need them, as is the intention, there would be less need for people to move – and be torn away from their Smart Phones! 🙂

Common sense also plays a big part.  We all need to be aware of those around us and be prepared to assist those who may need a seat or even assistance with luggage etc.

I think many disabled people may also feel self-conscious about wearing a badge which advertises the fact that they have a disability. Others may feel cheeky about asking for a seat, particularly if their disability isn’t immediately obvious. And although I understand that the scheme relies upon goodwill, unfortunately this isn’t always forthcoming and some disabled people may fear confrontation from those who question their greater need for a seat.

Despite my reservations, I hope the scheme is successful and at the very least, encourages people to be a little more considerate of the needs of their fellow passengers.

Disability Awareness for Kids – Its not weird, just different.

Posted in Cerebral Palsy, Disability and kids, Disability Awareness, Disabled Access, Family, Flyinglady Training, Making a difference, and Personal

I was on a train recently, travelling home from visiting my sister and best friend in London.  After a good night out the evening before, I was feeling quite tired and hoped to pass the journey quietly with my Kindle for company.

At one of the stops, a mother with her young daughter got on and sat opposite me.  The daughter must have been around six or seven and was very chatty! There went my quiet journey home but I smiled as the little girl asked her mum question after question,  no doubt driving her mum mad!  Being so inquisitive, the little girl’s attention soon turned towards me and she asked her mum “why does that lady need a wheelchair?”

Staring out the window, I waited to see how mum would reply all the little girl got was “I don’t know” so I decided to try and help. “I have something wrong with my legs, they don’t work properly.” I told the little girl cheerily.  I hoped her mum might engage with me, if only a little bit.

Instead, the little girl turned to her mum, telling her “I sounded weird”.  I’d hoped mum might correct her and explain that the word weird wasn’t very polite but mum just asked her to be quiet – not too much avail.

The incident made me smile but it also saddened me.  Mum didn’t seem interested in engaging or educating her daughter but perhaps, more likely, didn’t know how to and maybe, was afraid of offending me.  But it really was a missed opportunity for the little girl, particularly as I showed my willingness to engage with her.

That’s why I’m so passionate about my “Disability Awareness for Kids” sessions and have decided to offer them for free until the end of this academic year.  Parents and even teachers may feel awkward about talking about disability, but it really is important that they understand the issues and get honest answers to their questions.

They need to know it’s not weird. Just different.

Cerebral Palsy: An Introduction

Posted in Cerebral Palsy, Disability and kids, Disability Awareness, Disabled Access, Disabled Parent, Does it wet the bed?, Flyinglady Training, and Making a difference

This month is Cerebral Palsy Awareness Month so I’m going to be sharing a number of articles to raise awareness of the condition, what it’s like to live with it and the challenges that it presents.  Later this month, I’ll also be sharing advice for parents who have a child with CP and maybe some of my favourite bits from my memoir about living with the condition – “Does it wet the bed?”

What is Cerebral Palsy (CP)?

Cerebral palsy is a general term for a number of neurological conditions which affect movement and co-ordination.

Cerebral Palsy is caused by problems in the parts of the brain which is responsible for controlling muscles.  The brain becomes damaged either before, during or just after birth, or sometimes, during early childhood.

What are the three main types of CP?

Ataxiaa lack of muscle control when performing voluntary movements.  (National Institute of Health, 2011)

Spasticity Causes stiff or tight muscles and exaggerated reflexes.

DyskineticCharacterised by fluctuation in muscle tone which is either too loose or too tight.

What are the causes of CP?

  • An infection caught by the mother during pregnancy;
  • A lack of oxygen;
  • A difficult or premature birth;
  • Bleeding in the baby’s brain;
  • Changes in the genes that affect the brain’s development.

 

There will be lots more information coming over the next month, but if you’re a business who would like free staff training on Cerebral Palsy, please Contact Flyinglady to book your session.

Ten misconceptions about people with disabilities

Posted in Accessibility, Cerebral Palsy, Disability Awareness, Disabled Access, Disabled Parent, Equality & Diversity, Fighting for Change, Flyinglady Training, Making a difference, and Personal

 

 

  1. Disabled people need someone to talk for them

“Would she like a drink?” or “How old is she?” were common questions posed to my mum when I was growing up.  People assumed just because I am disabled that I can’t speak for myself. I soon piped up with the answers, making sure they knew I had a mind of my own!

 

  1. We need to have a “carer”

Disabled people may need assistance with some daily tasks but it shouldn’t be assumed, as is often the case, that we need full time care. Before getting married, I lived completely independently in my own flat and I am very capable of looking after myself.

 

  1. Disability prevents you from leading a normal life

Disability doesn’t exclude normality! I’ve achieved all the things that anyone else might expect to achieve, my disability hasn’t got in my way.

 

  1. Disabled people aren’t capable of being in employment

This simply isn’t true; there are countless jobs that disabled people can do – employers just need to start putting ability before disability! I held down a full time job for seven years before becoming self-employed and I helped dozens of other disabled people to find employment.

 

  1. People in wheelchairs can’t walk at all

I love the looks of surprise I get when I get out of my wheelchair in the company of strangers!  Wheelchairs are often used because walking is difficult, not because it’s impossible.

 

  1. Disabled people aren’t able to become parents

Being a disabled parent presents additional challenges but with time and thought, these can be overcome.

 

  1. Disabled people will pass on their disabilities to their children

Not all disabilities are hereditary so in many cases, it isn’t possible for a disabled parent to pass on their disability.

 

  1. If you have a disability, you must be on medication

Although medication can sometimes help to control some symptoms of some disabilities, it shouldn’t be assumed that all disabled people take medication. And it definitely shouldn’t be assumed that we can’t enjoy a tipple or two!

 

  1. If you are born with a disability, you’re extremely brave

Lots of people have said to me, “You’re so brave.”  But I don’t see myself as brave because I’ve always had a disability and it’s part of me – I wouldn’t know any different.  If you have a disability, you just get on with life in the best way that you can.

 

  1. Living with a disability is always bad and negative

Far from!  Speaking personally, I wouldn’t change my situation for anything, my life wouldn’t be as good without my disability. Although I’ve experienced discrimination and ignorance, the positive experiences far outweigh the bad.

 

If you have a disability and could add anything to this list, please contact me.  If you’re interested in Disability Awareness Training,  please contact Flyinglady Training.